Repressed feelings

I frequent a message board where all the women there are expecting and due around the same time as I am. There have been a lot of posts recently about baby showers and it has gotten me thinking about my baby shower. I’m very grateful to the lady who threw it for me, I hardly knew her but yet she still planned this wonderful gathering to celebrate my first child it warms me that a practical stranger would do this for me but at the same time I still find myself (4 years later) feeling very sad about it. I’m still sad that no one who knows me and was close to me was willing to have one for me. Not even my own mother or best friend! When I was expecting my second child I figured there would be no such celebration and there wasn’t. Which is fine cause not everyone feels like I do in that every child deserves a celebration but it still makes me sad too. Now that I’m expecting my third I'm certain there will be no celebration which I guess is fine cause really I don’t “need” anything. For me though it’s not about the gifts, it’s about the celebration . . . it’s about those close to me caring about me and my babies enough to want to make us feel special and celebrated . . . on the message board I have been seeing posts about girls having not one but two and three little celebrations for their second, third and one lady her fourth child and I’m so happy for them but I can’t help but wonder how it feels to be made to feel so cared about and special enough to be celebrated by those closest to you. Growing up I was never given a single birthday party so you’d think I’d be used to not being celebrated . . . but, it still dissapoints me . . . I wonder if maybe it’s the reason I had planed on not telling anyone when this little one is born. I have no plans to call and inform my family until after I'm home. In fact I never even really announced to anyone I was expecting again . . . I know many women don’t have showers at all but if I knew them I would plan one for them cause even if no gift is given having a celebratory tea party with the girls in your life to honor the coming baby is important and fun IMO . . .

Sore and exhausted but I’m satisfied!

We moved into this house four years ago and when we did we painted the living room walls a dark red (Louisiana Hot Sauce actually) and I LOVED it! Over time the colour has gotten old, and honestly over the past year I have come to despise it. The room doesn’t have a large window so it’s a dark room to begin with and the red just made it worse! So this weekend (in preparation for my maternity leave that will be starting in ten-ish weeks) I painted it a soft sandy colour (Lambskin actually) and it’s brightened everything up, I couldn’t be happier!

Before


















After

I’m going to need to get new curtains because as it is the windows look washed out but other than that it's bright and fantastic!!! And I have the personal satisfaction of saying the I did it all by myself. Hubby help by keeping the kids out of the way (sort of). . . I had to stop and prepare meals for the family and tidy so it took me twice as long as it should have but I’m not complaining cause it’s done and I'm satisfied!

Next weekend I hope to paint my bedroom!

What a hard day!!!

You know the kind I mean, no one thing makes it hard but you just had a hard time getting through it. . .

I feel like such a monster mom! I feel like all I have done is yell at my kiddo’s today but at the same time GOOD GAWD they were annoying! My son was needy, just calling out my name over and over and over then having nothing to say but “uhhhhhhhhh. . . errr . . . uuuummmmm. . I love you. . . ” and then he would ask to watch TV so I would turn it on and he would leave the room until I turned it off again then get upset with me for having turned it off. He jumped from sofa to love seat like a monkey gone mad I don’t know how many times I asked him to stop do it or to get his fingers out of his nose or pants. And my daughter who I have to admit was much less needy pee’d her pants at least four times today! ARG!!!!! Those messes are fine though I can live with them she is after all only two and is still learning but the other messes she makes GRRRR she brings ALL her toy ALL OVER the house so clean up is this giant ordeal and not just a quick one room thing

While I’m really trying to enjoy my last pregnancy for all that it is I’m totally hating myself as a mom, I’m so tired and inpatient and get frustrated easy. I haven’t had the energy to do even half of the fun activities, crafts or games we normally do my poor babies. I hope I’m not ruining them I hope they will forgive me once I return to my normal self. . . only a couple months left to go . . .

Hubby has had a horrible day too, it's 9pm, he’s still at work the poor guy and he hasn’t even had time to eat . . . .

I am glad my two messy monkeys are both in bed and all I have to do tonight is put my feet up and watch some TV . . . I think I might go watch them sleep for a while cause that always makes everything better!

Have a nice weekend

No Pictures

It turns out I’m not so good at taking pictures of pottery . . . as promised I took some photo’s this week of what my lil guy made but again I messed something up (sad sigh) I’m sorry, I have no photo’s to share. . .
This past Sunday I got some fired pieces back (the soap dispenser and a casserole dish for my MIL) I so was pleased with how they turned out!! I tried to photograph them to share here but I messed something up with those photo’s too!! I haven’t figured out what I’m doing wrong but it is something I’m working on, if anyone can offer advice I’m open to hearing it. In the mean time you’ll have to take my word for it; my pots turned out nice.

I did it!!! i was playing with my point and shoot camera and came up with this, it's the finished soap dispenser (with out the nozzle pump)

There was a helper at the studio today

Our roof sprung a leek so hubby was busy and wasn’t able to care for the babes while I went to pottery. We worked it out though, while the baby napped, hubby repaired the roof and I brought the little guy to the studio. He’s not really supposed to go there but I didn’t think my fellow studio users would mind just this one time. He had never come with me before and when I told him he was coming he was thrilled! I’m now the “most awesomest mama EVER!!!” He did a fantastic job! He didn’t touch anything he wasn’t supposed to and worked really hard on his hand building “masterpiece”. He was sure to welcome everyone who walked in the studio with an enthusiastic “HELLO!” and excitedly introduced himself to them. Then he promptly offered the stranger his helping services. I got him on the wheel and was helping him for all of three second when he confidently told me “I got it from here mom; thanks”. It was fun for us, I didn’t get anything done myself but he threw two pieces and a hand built bowl (and the hand built “masterpiece” . . . there’s a cute little story about this below) I took pictures of everything but for some reason only the hand built bowl turned out (pout) I’ll snap a few more photo’s next week before I trim them they’re very cute!

The masterpiece story (you’ll have to use your imagination)

He lumped together a bunch of scrap pieces of clay he collected from me (and his new found fellow studio user friends) then hammered them together, roll it out a bit, added a “handle”, poured water all over it, slopped it about, stuck some of my tools in it and announced he was done. I told him it was a nice piece but a bit of a mess and he confidently told me “it’s not a nice piece mom, it’s a MASTERPIECE!” I’m really disappointed the photo didn’t turn out cause the masterpiece is now in my recycle clay bag.

Oh right I asked him if he wanted to see a finished “masterpieces” of mine. He yelled “OH YA!!!” And happily hopped over, took one look at it and said disappointedly “Aww mom that’s just a bowl” here’s a photo of the disappointing bowl.

(this is the bowl in last weeks photo the other two pieces are still in the kiln)

Here I am!

I know it’s been a while, but here I am, Sunday evening celebrating the kids bed time with a nice glass of wine and updating my blog finally. I’ve popped by to share what I have been workingon. A soap dispenser, a “chocolate milk jug” and a bowl.

I haven't forgotten

But, I admit it, I'm what they call a bad blogger . I'll be back soon . . .